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Unkle Munky Pg 109
Sunky would like to make it clear that the Munky’s primitive opinions are not necessarily a reflection of his own… primitive opinions. ---- This week Munky wonders... Artist - David Holmes. Song - I Heard Wonders. *Click here to play... *Videos prone to removal. ---- The Flower Power of Love. Darren from Surrey asks - Dear Unkle Munky, I recently saw a beautiful girl at a charity fun run event. She was wearing the exact same costume as my good self. I believe it must have been fate. She has been on my mind ever since. What can I do? Please see photo. Unkle Munky says - '''Dear Darren, Which one is she? ''Ms. Motion Sickness (Munky's assistant) says - Oh fer fuck's sake!''' ---- Lost & Found. Derek from Durham asks - Dear Unkle Munky, I found a tree this morning. Can I keep it? '''Unkle Munky says - '''Dear Derek, I would recommend, on this occasion, that you take the aforementioned tree to your local police station. A lawful bid for ownership can be made if said item has not been claimed within four weeks. I hope this helps. ---- Bungle's Barely News. ---- Walls Have Ears. Warren from Stevenage asks - Dear Unkle Munky, Is it true that eggs could not be boiled or fried during the war years? I suspect that my mate is pulling my plonker again and no mistake! '''Unkle Munky says - '''Dear Warren, I can confirm that your friend is indeed correct. It was imperative, during the war years, that everything was scrambled. After all, walls have ears ya know! ---- Bungle's Barely News. '''Unkle Munky says -' Oh that's a shame, Bungle. Bungle adds - Yeah, she loves that leotard. ---- Most Chicken. Roy from Leeds asks - Dear Unkle Munky, Did you receive my email regarding the spooky goings-on in my new flat? 'Unkle Munky says -' Dear Roy, I have spoken to Yvette Fielding of 'Most Haunted' fame and can confirm that your Tesco Bargain Priced Chicken is definitely not possessed. It would appear to both Yvette and my good self that the exorcist-like rotation of your poultry dish can quite simply be attributed to the glass turntable that operates at the base of your microwave oven. Roy replies - Oh, thank fuck for that! ---- On This Day in History... It was on this day in 2004 that Sharon Osbourne, from off of the X-Factor, discovered Penicillin. "I remember it as if it were yesterday," said Sharon recently in an interview for 'Well Fancy That!' magazine. "I'd just spent an unsuccessful morning scouting for new talent in and around the studios of X-factor when, during a break, I inadvertently brushed against a cluster of mould on a toilet door. The timing could not have been better as my fellow hosts were beginning to despair of ever finding a suitable act to publicly manipulate." *It was to take just one impromptu audition from girl band, Penicillin, to convince me that I was about to save Simon Cowell's X-factor from the shit heap yet again! Sharon Osbourne. X-Factor Judge 2004 ---- UK Munky Gold + 1 ---- Banana Research. Ms. Motion Sickness, I will be late on Thursday morning as I have an urgent dental appointment. Ahem. ---- Short Paws. A short paws whilst Munky considers the plight of a dyslexic optician and his long-suffering patient. ---- Turbulent Times. Francis from Clonsilla asks - Dear Unkle Munky, We seem to be living through quite dark and depressing times. With this in mind, I was wondering if perhaps you could offer any words of hope? 'Unkle Munky says -' Dear Francis, It is important to remember that the lifespan of any boyband reunion is, at best, commonly limited to just a few years. Hang on in there. Francis replies - Oh fer fucks sake! I was referring to the global economic slowdown, you useless hairy primate! You really are shit at this agony business! ---- Next... Previous... Munky's Memos... Return to Munky Menu...